On Memoir

I have always enjoyed biographies and memoir.  Probably memoir the best.  In the back of my mind, I have held a tiny flame of an idea that I could write one.  This flame is constantly kept small by negative thoughts. What’s so special about me?  Who would care enough to read it?  Do I really have anything that bad that happened to me?  That I have overcome? 

The flame is small and has not been extinguished over time. Since my husband died, I have allowed myself to reflect and get to know my true self and my values and work to act in alignment with them.  I also started taking my writing more seriously and reading books on writing and storytelling. I am practicing writing.  Mostly professional writing but in some of it using storytelling and I started this blog. I am finding my voice.

I have been on a memoir binge, a female extraordinary athlete memoir binge, three runners and one swimmer (Sarah Hall, Des Lindon, Mary Cain, Diana Nyad).  And I am currently reading The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr and I thought about what the throughline could be in my memoir and maybe it is – ordinary runner?  And maybe it is just for me. Running has been my constant go to for managing my emotions all my life, but it never led to great accomplishments – or did it?  Finding a way, any way to manage emotions is an accomplishment.

It is also a habit (and maybe you would call it an addiction). It is my go-to way of calming down, of burning off anger and anxiety, running away my fear and worry.  It is, a temporary fix, needed again the next day and yes, that does sound like an addiction. And I keep using it even though I had a knee replaced 7 years ago and no matter how many falls I have had.  It is too precious to give up, and every day I can run, I am grateful for.  I know there will come a day when it is no longer possible, one of my biggest fears, but until then, I will live in the present, especially on a run.  Off for one now.

Note: edited for “try and but”