First Father's Day without My Father

Remarks for my dad at his celebration of life, May 24, 2026.

My life with dad began in 1959, my twin brother and sister in 1961.  Dad was more than a physics professor that brought home liquid nitrogen to treat our and the neighbor kid’s warts.  He taught us how to ride our bikes and how to shoot a lay-up and an underhanded free throw.  He built with his own hands and those of his family and friends 3 homes.  The first one we moved into when I was two and the twins were babies.  The next one was built in the then country on a dirt road before I-40 intruded.  For that one we were old enough to help and would even get paid up to 25 cents an hour.  The final one was built on Harker’s Island after he retired and fulfilled his dream of living on the water.  He and mom lived there virtually full-time for the next 25 years.  However, they were always available and present when we needed them.  When my brother’s wife was dying, they came to stay with him, they didn’t have to be asked.  When my husband was dying, they came to Carol Woods and stayed.  Again, I didn’t have to ask, they just knew we needed them.  When my husband was unable to get out of bed anymore my dad’s mobility was already quite compromised, but he would climb the stairs on his hands and knees to get to our bedroom every evening to watch the news with my husband and then he and mom would eat dinner with us in the bedroom.  True examples of being present for hard times and supporting your children throughout their lives. 

I have some wishes for my dad to share.

I wish that you know again your mother’s hug and her love.

I wish for you to shoot baskets on dirt courts and play baseball with your brothers.

I wish for you the thrill of intellectual pursuits.

And the experience of true love and the unique love for your children that is like no other.

I wish for you the finding of solutions to problems and building things with your own large strong hands.

I wish for you solidly aimed golf balls and perfect putts.

I wish you to feel proud and confident that your presence and all you did for others is how you will always be remembered and find peace and joy as you take a permanent place in our hearts for as long as they still beat.

Mark Twain said, “Kindness is a language everyone understands” My dad believed that kindness could change the world so I invite you to join me in a brief loving kindness practice. 

Begin by showing loving kindness to yourself, then others we love, then those who are a challenge to love, and then for all living creatures. 

May I be happy, May I be healthy, may I be free from suffering, May I be loved.

For those you love:

May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering, may you be loved.

For someone or ones who are a challenge to love:

For all living creatures:

May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering, may you be loved.

May all living creatures be happy, may they be health, may they be free from suffering and may they be loved.

Please take another deep breath in and let it out. 

Celebrate your dad today whether he is living in this world or in your heart.